Perceptions are everything

Really I ain't poor,
The world tells me to want more.
Really I have enough,
Don't need yet more stuff.

I don't need yet more blings,
I have quite enough things.
Likely too many possessions,
What's with these buying obsessions?

And then when I really think,
My heart begins to sink.
When I look at my perceptions,
Rather than worldly expectations.

I see what I really need,
Not the wants I plead.
All the things that make me glad,
That take away my sense of sad.

The people that are present,
Not the greed that's omnipresent.
So I deplore you all to pause,
To see our sadness root cause.

It isn't things that make us whole,
They really don't enrich our soul.
Chasing more sees us lose,
Yet it really is us that gets to choose.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Coventry, England , GBR

Comments

Neopoet AI

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Overall, "Perceptions are everything" is a thoughtful and relatable poem that challenges the reader to question their own values and priorities. The speaker's message about the dangers of consumerism and the importance of human connection is delivered in a clear and concise manner, making it easy for the reader to understand and empathize with.

One suggestion for a line edit would be to change "And then when I really think" to "But when I stop and really think". This change would create a smoother transition between the preceding stanza and the speaker's reflection on their own perceptions.

The poem's rhyme scheme and simple language also make it accessible to a wide audience, although some may find it too simplistic or lacking in complexity. However, this simplicity can also be seen as a strength, as it allows the poem's message to shine through without being bogged down by unnecessary poetic devices or convoluted language.

Overall, "Perceptions are everything" is a well-crafted poem with a strong message that encourages the reader to reflect on their own values and priorities. With a few minor edits, it could be even stronger and more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact