It's like a time capsule
filled with jewels
and little treasures
The sweet wrappers
lighters and pens
like a carpet bag
it never ends
Appointment cards from 1993
an empty purse
and bunches of keys
A glassses case
with stickers on
Ironic
The invisible woman!
In cartoon style
I stop and stare
at them a while.
Inside the case
glasses glare
A few strands of her golden hair
Tucked inside the lining
2 sheets of lined paper
A message from my younger self
A poem written for my Nan
shared and read
by all the clan.
She'd hid them there
with deathly stealth
Like a ghostly intruder
Also the words of Pablo Neruda
The leaves did fall
Pain in my chest
For now my Mother
Surely rests.
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium)
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
out of 5 stars
"The Handbag" is a nostalgic and introspective poem that delves into the contents of a woman's handbag, revealing small treasures and mementos that hold sentimental value. The language is simple and straightforward, making it easy to follow and understand. However, the poem lacks depth and fails to fully explore the emotions that come with discovering these items.
One notable issue with the poem is its lack of structure. The lines are inconsistent in length and there is no discernible rhyme scheme. While this can work in some poems, it seems haphazard here and detracts from the overall cohesiveness of the piece.
Additionally, some of the lines could benefit from a closer examination and revision. For example, the line "Appointment cards from 1993" feels out of place and doesn't add much to the poem. Instead, it interrupts the flow and distracts from the more meaningful items in the handbag. A possible revision could be to replace it with a more poignant item, such as a photo or letter.
Despite its shortcomings, "The Handbag" is a sweet and sentimental poem that will resonate with those who enjoy exploring the past through physical objects. With a bit more attention to structure and language, it could truly shine.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
The Handbag
Hello, Sarah,
This is so private and personal, yet so universal. You have let us experience the tender moment, but also permitted us to get to know your lovely mother a bit, too. Precious.
Thank you,
L