Like a long-ago forgotten tale
Your love has left me unwell
By a ghostly hand taken away
Your body is gone, your memory stays
I now hide behind a dark veil
Laid to waste by a love that failed
Left alone and left unclean
Being punished by someone unseen
Like poison surging through my veins
Your love in me will always remain
Until I lay down and find my peace
Until I lay down and my blood I release
They will lie me 'neath unholy ground
No longer to your love will I be bound
Comments
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem titled "Unwell" is a concise and poignant exploration of a failed love. The poet uses vivid language and imagery to convey the speaker's pain and the lasting impact of the lost love. The line, "Like poison surging through my veins," is particularly striking and captures the intensity of the speaker's emotions.
One suggested line edit would be to change "find my piece" to "find my peace" in the line "Until I lay down and find my piece." This would provide a clearer and more accurate representation of the intended meaning.
Overall, "Unwell" is a powerful and evocative poem that effectively communicates the lingering effects of a lost love.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
The imagery used, gives the
The imagery used, gives the reader the sense of loss the poet experienced. I agree with the AI on the lingering effects of lost love. The metaphors used to deliver the physical effects of the love lost: "Like poison surging through my veins," is a great line and it invites the reader to fully experience the subject. Well done, you've successfully haunted me this morning. Ruby :)
Thanks
Thanks Ruby