Our first meeting was our last.
Such electric moments unsurpassed,
when fleeting seconds went so fast
no surplus formed for my repast.
Lauren, with your liquid eyes,
disporting looks of your surprise,
when first I asked you for my prize -
a photo of your wistful gaze
to stay with me in dying days.
So always think of me this way
I wanted nothing but your grace
and a picture of your lovely face
- a gift you cannot give but I can take.
A gift I give to you for your keepsake.
Last Few Words: It was 1 a.m. and time for me to go. Lauren, the girl behind the bar, was pretty tired and looked somewhat dejected. I said "give me a smile" which she did. I asked if I could take her photo. She said "of course" so I did. Jokingly she said "send me a copy" knowing full well I didn't have her address. So I sent it to the pub where she worked with this poem attached. I hope she liked it. By the way, those of you whose reaction to the penultimate line is "she could have given you a selfie" have no poetry in your soul.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I love this
The last words is gold and you’re right I hope she loves it and I think the interaction of you taking the photo is so poetic in todays culture.
Tim
Thanks Tim
The photo is great and I think she would have got a great kick out of getting a copy out of the blue.