I watched her from safety,
a fair pace away.
Her satiny speech drew
my surprised attention.
It was not just her voice,
but the way she used it.
It was hypnotic, in a way
I cannot describe...
I was completely enthralled,
I am not easily taken in
by beauty's allure, but,
her green eyes meeting mine
were soft, large and seductive.
Resting my back to the wall
I steadied myself, finding composure
remembering why I was there.
Her reputation for cruelty
in breaking hearts and trust
I would take her to task
by the very same way.
With rugged smile in place
I swooped into her presence!
Jan 12, 2023
They Called Her Satan by: (eddy styx)
About This Poem
Last Few Words: by: eddy styx, my Male alter ego
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Green eyes
My weakness. My kryptonite. My sweetest addiction. If she is the devil, I grovel and fear at her emerald beacons calling me home to temptuous self destruction.
Wife has green eyes. She’s not satan but she’s no angel.
Excellent pace. Total breeze to read.
Tim
LOL Tim,
emerald-eyed tempestuous! does she happen to be a red-head, too? I have a feeling that she has you squarely where she wants you, lol! and you are very happy to be there.
*ever, eddy
p.s.
Steve has amazing eyes...the color of wood smoke! I am lost to them...
*hugs, Cat
How did you know
Of course she’s a ginger and yes she has always had me right where she wanted me.
Tim
The man is bewitched as it
The man is bewitched as it should be lol,
I still hate my eyes :S hence the black and white picture, do you remember Cat?
love you J x
dearest,
I do not remember....being dead for 4 minutes stole this and other things from me :(
*love, your cat
Beauty is in the eyes...
Hey Eddy, I love this and you kept my interest all the way through.
I do wish that you had taken more of an interest in capitalization
at the beginning of some lines, and you have a typo in the word presence.
All in all, a good piece of work. ~ Geez.
.
dear Geezer,
I am trash at spelling and English rules. I will attempt to better. I use spell check but this one went uncaught. I really appreciate you taking the time and energy to tell me. thank you for reading and commenting.
can I tempt you on doing a similar piece on all your "other's?"
*ever eddy
Have done...
them all at one time or another, but not recently, I guess they could all do with a little up-date.. I may give it a go, but first I have to finish up with part two of the other challenge you issued. It's almost ready, I promise. I have another one I am anxious to post, been working on it for about a week. Maybe I will finish that one today and then finish the music one after that. I keep getting all these ideas and with everything else, there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. Uh oh, time for lunch! ~ Geez.
.
dear Geez,
I know what you mean about "idea visitation" lol. I have a few of my own. if that isn't enough, eddy is bugging me to do a music list of his own!
*hugs, Cat
*ever, eddy
This is not all about the
This is not all about the beauty of people. It's about the inner man which is the beauty of the soul. Beauty, an irony of life. There's is more to this than meets the eye. They called her Satan! That's horrendous! I will definitely flew!
.
hey Jack,
thank you. I am always glad to read your critique as it is helpful to me.
* ever, eddy styx
Is there a part 2
I am curious to see how Eddy finishes his task...it doesn't appear she is going to be easy to defeat...well done....
dear Rose Black (I love that name!)
this feels unfinished, doesn't it? I think I must do something about that. thank you for the prompt it is appreciated.
ever, eddy
dear Kat,
we shall see how the story develops...and maybe even I shall be surprised it where it goes, LOL!
*ever, eddy
Dearest Cat
I saved the best for last, sigh you know how much I love Eddy that's never been in question.
Is it wrong of me to put a face to this one? it's that good that's what it did, I think it's a brilliant write.
Bravo and send my love to Eddy (hug)
love and biggest hugs J x
dear Little Blossom,
not wrong at all! my hope is to please and entertain...
*ever, eddy styx
Hmmm
I wasn't sure if I liked the title but I like the same types of topics to write about.
I love the allure of him watching her from a distance in essence, because I'm a huge fan of human behavioral science. All around liked it.
hello,
thank you, I am glad you liked it.
*ever, eddy styx