I feel a feeling most akin
Strange shievers sin
A baby skin
Withers within
I feel a feeling dangerous
To keep you here
My dear, my dear
I haven’t fear
I have a feeling, my feeling
Pushes my womb
In the backroom
Expectant cries
I have a feeling, a feeling
That unborn babies-
Are missed babies-
Last and most least
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I am wondering if...
I am making the correct interpretation on this one? I am of two minds about this. On one hand, I think that the mother is a bit relieved at the prospect of not having the baby, but still wonders if maybe her baby and others aren't missed; that it would become evident later? A proper mix of relief and regret. I felt the pain here, you made it happen. ~ Geezer.
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