a loss truly felt
Whose rings weren’t made of gold
Whose brain was covered in sod
You never heard a word of it
I knew a place
To gather glimpses of soul
I listened again and again
But let go before I ever caught hold
Brain sod
His absence was loud but
much less than doubt
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Intense
Another write about grief, this seems to be a significant loss, one whose absence was felt deeply. I like the reference to brain sod as a way of depicting his death/burial. Well done.
Thank you I appreciate your
Thank you I appreciate your feedback and analysis !