Diamonds

my heart is pressed
between the pages
of the book of you
I see only darkness
without the light
from your wood-smoke
colored eyes
your soft deep voice
carries me like
a dappled day dream
over the treacherous
rocks of my perilous day
it is your calm
sagaciousness which
holds my fragile sanity
and keeps it within its
clockwork frame
your eternal knowing
of me keeps me
from shattering into
a thousand shards
and I would not trade you
for diamonds nor doughnuts

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Another one for Steve, my life-mate.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Dear Cat

reading every line of this write is a pleasurable experience because it is expressive of latent emotions coming alive...it feels like waves lapping at the shores when i get a feeling that they are there to express something...

much love..

Hi Candlewitch

I enjoyed reading your poem. It has a floating feeling. I loved the way the words are place exactly in the right place. It a very fulfilling piece...

Cheers,

Pixee

hi cat

I may be wrong but I think I remember this one lol
would you have posted this on neo of old for your
good man Steve, if I am wrong tell him I said hi
either way, fav lines "your soft deep voice
carries me like
a dappled day dream
over the treacherous
rocks of my perilous day,,,,,,,,,,,much love ,,,,ziggy xx

Oh this is love,

Oh this is love, this abandoned deep, I like this poem dear Cat,
I agree Shirl, love to you both Ann

Cat

Cat,

Steve is a diamond and this sits very well as a tribute to him. I don't want to offer any suggestions for two reasons:

1. this is personal and needs to stay in the raw state that you posted it
2. I couldn't find anything to change!! Lol!

What did Steve say about it as he isn't a big poem fan?

regards,

Golden Lady

I just went on this ride with you over the valleys and what a nice view it was. Such a composure of delicately placed words to page. I really like it. Nothing to crit.

Love to you and Steve
Blessings
Mona
xoxox

Cat

Beautiful, what more can I say?

Don't change a thing.

Love

Lou

i can't really see anything

i can't really see anything to be improved
upon in this write

it gently takes the reader along
on the emotion expressed ...undersatated
emotion. and at the same time, intense

i find these lines particularly good

it is your calm
sagaciousness which
holds my fragile sanity
and keeps it within its
clockwork frame

a pleasure to read this lovely work

cheers
p