Be kind to woman
that we never leave
from the cradle
to the grave
will lay us down
to sleep
because of her
we breathe.
Apr 06, 2022
WOMAN.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
I like the premise...
but there seems to be a break in the middle
that no matter how I read it, it does not seem that there is a way
to make the transition from the line; "the cradle to the grave" to
"will lay us down to sleep". I'm sure that you had something in mind,
but it has been lost. ~ Geezer.
.
I also thought as Gee did
you do need a rethink
of your black and blue ink
this makes three
who agree.
*hugs, Cat
Woman
Thanks Cat.