Neopoet Random Challenge # 13

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Neopoet Challenge #13 The Last Time I Was Lost

Neopoet challenge #13
The Last Time I was Lost

it's a heart ache
with so much gone
it makes your heart break
I just cannot take it.
could not fake it if I tried

I am lost, so lost
won't you come find me
like the last time
I simply slipped away
out in the cold and frost?

I don't know why
I do this thing
its not as If I didn't try
to stay here, near you
but the pull is irresistible.

I don't mean to wander
I don't mean to roam
I don't want to squander
this gift of your love
it is true, in my mind
I am confused and lost.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Did you...

rewrite this whole piece, or did I simply forget to comment? I thought that I had made reference to someone who has Alzheimer's, and we discussed our relatives being in Geriatrics. Maybe I'm losing what little of my mind remains? ~ Geez.
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nope...

you are not losing your mind...I had to reenter it to get it on the list (for mark) because the first time I didn't use the pull down tab(to choose challenge #13) sorry to mess you up.

*hugs, Cat

p.s
I have a few loose and scrambled marbles myself ;)

Okay...

I thought I was being precognitive or something. LoL. hugs, from the boys, Geez.
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