Shall I compare thee to the Selene.

In thy self is nature's gift
thou art the definition
of peace
I the troubled one
stealthily takes shelter
in thy tranquility
just a glance of thee i need
to make my worries vanish
thou art such a sight
to behold
your bright face
makes the vindictive
abyss in my heart fade
I could stare at thee
for eternity
if I don't get stricken by
the pang of reality.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria, NGA

Favorite Poets: Alfred Tennyson

Comments

Normally...

I stay away from the archaic language and am not particularly enamored of it. However, I can appreciate this attempt at going with the language of the old masters. It shows that you have some versatility.
1] thou [art] such a sight to behold.
2] if I am not [stricken] by the pang of reality.
These are the only two places that I felt you needed help.
~ Geezer.
.

Thanks a lot.

Thanks for the feedback. Will make corrections to it.

hello,

a lovely poem you have crafted here. these are my favorite lines:

your bright face
makes the vindictive
abyss in my heart fade
I could stare at thee
for eternity

I could and shall apply this to me darlin' husband, Steven

*hugs, Cat