Viviana Smith
Viviana Smith
Oct 19, 2020

I'll always remember

Silence is like a scream, it echos off the walls

Waiting for an answer that will never come

like a head filled with bad memories

or a body scarred and bruised

it stings worse than bees

and burns worse than fire

it stains my head

and paints a perminate picture in my brain

I cant forget the hate you've given

you say you're sorry but your not

you can try again

but I'll never be rid

Of your hate not love

i'll always remember your rough touch

i'll always remember your tone of voice

i'll always remember your choice of words

cause just like paint, you've stained my head

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Texas USA

Favorite Poets: Shel Silverstein

More from this author

Comments

Gracy

Gracy

4 years 6 months ago

Dear Vivi, sad poem. I hope you didn't go thru' all that, but it sounds to me as if it's personal.
I like the title, the theme and spacing. Teddy has made some suggestions already and I agree with most of them.
I'll have to return for another read, as it's a lot to take in. All the best, Gracy