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Mar 10, 2011

Atonements

Atonement's
She will be the truth to help me stand as a man
She will balance my atonement, for peace of my sins
She will see pass ! the imperfections’,
As my Atonement's between myself and who as I am

She will believe
Leadership is more than flesh but actions, and words of a man
This catalyst is the forgiveness
Too, balance my life as I start again
Validation is to see
Atonement is a man trying to be
Infidelity is selfishness, made from weakness
A flawed true love, is all this can achieve

About This Poem

Last Few Words: one more poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Comments

Rett

Rett

14 years 1 month ago

The only thing I think I would change is this line.

Too, balance my life as I start again (change Too to To)

Well done, deep thoughts!