scribbler
Jun 06, 2020
This poem is part of the workshop:

Titles

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CHORE (title workshop)

OK here's my poem and I was actually TOLD by 2 different people that the title is weak

CHORE
Submitted by scribbler on Mon, 2011-01-31 09:08
It's time I check the spring pasture
during this rare late winter thaw
beneath bright skies of deep azure.
I'll walk there by way of the draw.

The usual crop of winter stones
which earth has pushed above the grass,
white quartz shining like old bones.
I'll gather up some as I pass.

They'll add to a stone walls girth
or outline the clear spring's source.
Of rocks there never is a dearth.
It will take some work, of course.

Next is time to walk the fence
to check for sags and broken wire
especially where the woods are dense
and across the boggy mire.

With luck I'll find that all is well
and not for too long be away;
just a walk among the dell.
I'll be home by end of day.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

Rula

Rula

4 years 10 months ago

You forgot to choose the title's workshop from the window drop, so that we give official comments.

Rula

Rula

4 years 10 months ago

For me, chores are things you do and yet you're not pleased, but you have to do anyways. At your poem, the speaker sounds happy as he's doing what's he doing
But I still find your title reasonable. Another expresive title could be

" A Day Out"
" Serving My Beloved Land"

C

love the poem
but yes I would say the title is weak

may I suggest something like
All In A Day's Work or By Day's End something along those llines

T

tyro

4 years 10 months ago

I also do not find chore a good title as it seemed more like a stroll. So I come up with two ideas
1.dutiful stroll
2, devoir

Geezer

Geezer

4 years 10 months ago

Checking on the Ranch? Or Duty Wants to Walk With Me? ~ Geez.
.