What light is this in striated beam?
comes peeking through the silvered clouds
on this night so dark,yet warm
Where comes the sound of waters stilled
that alone the call of a night owls shriek
echoes through forests of old
The gentle brushing of wood nymphs wings
a contrast to calloused skin
may invite you to a dreamland
where only you and they may go
Erase the bitter taste of bile
with the nectar of the night
arise upon soft gossamer wings
let them take you on their flight
Comments
and this Lynn
is like music
on a darkened blackened
yet golden moon struck night
o what a delight
awww
Thank you for that. Now I am blushing
Teddy
Thank you so kindly
Alan
I don't think I was going for metre however let me disgest this after my second cup of coffee. I'm sure all of your suggestions are correct
* Alan have used your suggestions and it does read better thank you
Yes we are still friends isn't that what this site is for
I will leave...
the more technical stuff for those that remember all the rules and of how they apply. Your grasp of the forest at night, is phenomenal. I have been in the forest at night to hunt and I felt that you could be sitting along side of me, watching and waiting for the prey. Nice job. ~ Gee.
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Gee
thank you. Maybe it was the gossamer wings you felt Now to study sir Alan's hard work
Jerry
I thank you so much. I wasn't thinking about old William as I was never fond of his witing. Oh dear now me I am in trouble for saying that.
jerry
ah well lol
Magical
Hello, Chrys,
Like Jerry, the first stanza reminded me of Romeo, and then your poem went to a level of magical delight. Thank you for this captivating journey!
L
lavendar
thank you so much. I appreciate your very kind words