Escape from reality

There's a place I love to tarry
when my strength is gone,
when my eyes are dizzy,
when my stomach is churning,
when I am ridiculed and castrated by hunger,
I crawl to mama's fireplace.
I lie there and drift into fantasy-land,
where I dine with kings and queens.

There's a place I love to tarry
when mama has nothing to cook
and I don't know where my next meal will come from,
I slip into fantasy-land
and eat in grand eateries.

There's a place I love to tarry
when Uche and his entourage mock my torn clothing,
I drift into fantasy-land
and put finishing touches to my boutique.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Akwa ibom state, Nigeria., NGA

Favorite Poets: Wole soyinka

Comments

Danial...

A warm welcome to Neopoet. And many thanks for sharing this lovely piece.
I thought this is true poetry. A message wrapped up poetically well, but maybe you can find a more attractive title, but that's just me.
Already enjoyed.

Thanks a lot for reading it.

I'll improve.

Daniel

Very n icely done
Yes very descriptive and I am sure it will hit home to others as it did with me
Yes I agree a stronger title is needed for this work
Your title must draws the readers attention as it is the first thing to be seen
You want to dra the reader in.

How about someting like
Dreams I'll never see
or
The Hunger With
or
try finding your title frm the body of the poem

and a very sincere welcome to you

Thanks a lot brooks

Hello Daniel and welcome to

Hello Daniel and welcome to neopoets. Hope you're happy here.
I agree with the others, only the title could be better. Perhaps from the body of the poem.
You show a deep sadness but also a great sense of what justice should be. Extremely apt for the horrible acts committed these weeks and over the centuries.
I sincerely hope your situation is far better now, that is, if the poem is about you. C19 is probably widespread where you live. Keep safe and God bless you and your family, Gracy