scooby
scooby
Dec 15, 2019

Addiction

A real addict doesn’t say they are
Addicted to the drug, they say that
They are in love with the drug. That
If it were something they could slow dance
With, they would. That if it were a
Song they’d put it on repeat. That
If it were a job they’d be working over
Time. That if it were a hard math question
They’d be the only one in the classroom
That isn’t confused.
But the truth of the matter is :
You can’t slow dance with the needle
You can’t put powder on repeat
You can’t work overtime with the joint!
But the fact still stands that you
Will be the only one in the classroom
Who isn’t confused when the teacher asks
“Does anyone know what addiction is?”

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I am a recovering addict and decided to write my feelings out on a poem.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: yuma az

Favorite Poets: Neil Hilborn

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

I hear you. Your title is a bit bland, but it gets the job done.
The theme is one that needs to be done more. [ This is quite good ]
It seems logical and flows well from beginning to end.
The use of capitals where there are line breaks, can be a little confusing
but it's not a serious flaw.
I would change a line make it smoother and not repeating.

I would change the line that says, "But the fact still stands, that you will be the only one in the classroom, who isn't confused, when the teacher asks "Does anyone know what addiction is?"

I would change it to read, "But, you will be the only one who is not confused, when the teacher asks; if anyone knows what addiction is?"
Of course, this is just a suggestion and if you really like it the way that it is, or have a different idea...
~ Geezer.
.