"The Reaper Who Touches"

This demon’s tongue and its hollow soul,
gravediggers that dig an empty hole.
The angel’s wing and her gentle ways,
dying people and their futile days.

A bloodied face and an impaled eye,
a lover’s spat, both will die.
A baseball bat and a caved in face,
yellow police tape now wraps this place.
A gunshot accompanied with an exploded chest,
this careless cop, wore no vest.

A hand that holds a knife of hate,
it hits its mark, yet shares ones fate.
The reaper who touches our life’s demise,
looms in the shadows, of all that dies.

How some suffer to stay alive,
but without death, none would thrive.
This darkness comes for one and all;
now break your neck, as you trip and fall.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Favorite Poets: I have many favorite poets but I like Poe the most.I would also feel wrong if I didn't include music to this also

Comments

HI

I really loved the imagery and the atmosphere you have created.

if you read my poetry, you will see that i'll lean towards the dark side, but this is gruesome lol !!!

having said said that in stanza 2, line 2, you say lovers' spat, I know that it ryhmes with bat, but spat feels like a very tame word for such an extreme poem, can't think of an alternative at the moment.

Great stuff .

Lou

Thank you

I understand what you mean by my usage of the word "spat" it is true that I used it for the rhyme, but I also used it to show how a simple lovers spat can turn horribly wrong.I do intend on reading you writing, and the fact that you tend to write dark makes me want to read it even more.Thanks again Lou, I'm glad you liked it, thank you:-)

hi

I'll send you a pm wth one of my poems.

lou

Fantastic, Awesome..........................................

I don't care if I will be criticized by using a lot of adjectives to describe this poem, coz its really is.
Bravo

Thanks mona

I sure hope nobody will be critical of your comment.The only thing they should be critical of is my post in my opinion.And thank you, I'm glad that you enjoyed this write.

Thank you Rosi

I used your suggestion, and your help was very much appreciated.I can't thank you enough, and I'm so happy you liked it.

Thank you

I'm glad you liked it shirley:-)

Dear KZ,

My favorite lines are:

A hand that holds a knife of hate,
it hits its mark, yet shares ones fate.
The reaper who touches our life’s demise,
stands behind, all who dies.

Suggestion:

My tongue kind of tripped over the line with the "dumb" cop. I think another word for dumb would be better. Maybe, the brainless imprudent or reckless would work better?

All in all it is an excellent dark write!

always, Cat

Thank you Cat

I have a better word for it, let me know if this word works better? thank you:-)

reaper

For some reason this reminds me of a tombstone that reads "I expected this, just not so soon". Here are some alternates which might help a bit :
L-2 gravediggers digging an empty hole
L-6 mere lovers' spat, yet both will die
L-9 a gunshot explodes unguarded chest
L-14 standing behind each who dies

take or leave at your discretion...............scribbler

thank you scribbler

I will consider your suggestions, and I think I will have that quote on my tombstone, lol.Thanks scribbler.