cowards have used the cloud for acquisition
to hide lies about friends and foes alike
as the misty mountain top flees from
inquisitions and cries out loud
so may your eyes open wide
as the mists of liars collides
with the reality that most of us
want peace and heavenly sunrise
which chases the lying clouds away
leaving the pine green freshness over daisies
to wake us to higher aspirations
to clean the air and leave us breathless
after waiting in line to reach the top
of Mt. Everest, now too common
like the storm clouds of confusion
misapprehension, willful bending of the facts
to pull the wool over our eyes as
far as we can't see while asleep..
wake up to the song of the nightingale
who knows how to divide the chaff from the ray
if you trip over the edge (rye for night)
through phantom emotions awry and fallen to the depths,
take a hike up Smokey Mountain
to open your eyes wide and
screw your head back on straight:
the gate to healthy living!
trace the water falls of El Yunque
'midst smiles of universal hiking....
Comments
I can understand the title,
I can understand the title, The Cloud, but to me the poem was about the beauties beyond the ego. Your word uses and metaphorical allusions were marvelous. At one point I felt it was getting too long...
I reread it and now know where this feeling came from. With wake up you are making a direct address, which can come over like preaching.
Instead of wake up to, And then there is the song of the nightingale. Its just an idea, and why I mention it is because I have been often accused of preaching.
It's your poem, but I think without direct address, it would be more beautiful.