Sunrise

Underlying beauty, glazing sky,
here you are to greet me.
Intangible colors, rising.
awakening cold heart at dawn.

It feels like green eyes can see;
for the very first time!
A soul that's stirring up,
a full pot of bright thoughts,
brimming the edge of serenity.
Although bricks and bough's stand in way,
you are holy, beaming love,
on this winters day.

Lucky for me, you return,
with a slow salute tomorrow.
I'll greet you there at same time.
Abiding in appreciation,
through kitchen window dew,
you shine.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Inspired by a beaut of a sunrise this morning.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: British Columbia, Canada

Favorite Poets: William Butler Yeats

Comments

Hi Mark!

I'm not sure, I think part of me wants to compensate and write more words to add extra syllables? But the more I write and read poetry on here, it's getting easier to see what's not necessary.
Do ever feel free to carry on! Haha
I like the way you rephrased that verse, more rythmatic!
Thanks for the comment.

Regards,
Bjucks

Are you chained to writing?

Be easy on yourself in your practice!
Connection is everything in art/love. Isnt it?
I'm rooting for you! Keep writing and growing

Regards
Bjucks