This Beating, Beautiful Now (For Mary Oliver)

I like much of this poem, especially its intent. What I struggle with are periods of linguistic flatlining

for many dawns
& many moons
many birds
& many bird-flights
loving & learning
& giving language

You've taken a thought, a poetic meme, and colored it colorless with Many many many
Ill paraphrase a friend of mine whos a whopping good poet "If a poem doesnt cost you anything you cant expect much of it Two essential things are required to advance work

1 to read understand and assimilate those who have reached great heights of thought and craft
2 To use what you've learned till your poem crackles, shatters glass, or touches deeply not just in terms of sentiment but in terms of linguistic power

By Mary Oliver
I go down to the edge of the sea.
How everything shines in the morning light!
The cusp of the whelk,
the broken cupboard of the clam,
the opened, blue mussels,
moon snails, pale pink and barnacle scarred—

Look at the variation and complex texture of her writing ... Steal the feeling and depth of this work you admire so much

Hope this makes sense and make it yours

Best Z

Also the word 'beautiful' should be avoided strenuously. Make it beautiful, don't say it is.

Zebra's critique was excellent.

To one of America's best recent poets