she could not bring herself to kiss
the dirty little frog
not getting passed his green slimmey face
and warty splotchy skull
never handsome enough to love
in spite of his viscous sincerity
and
her
own
yearning
snail fish
Dec 04, 2018
Fallen Queen...A Fucked Up Fairy Tale
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
A whole year's wait for a comment!
And will it be worth it?
Two spelling mistakes in the first 3 lines is NOT a great start.
PAST not past
SLIMY not slimmey
On the positive side, I liked "viscous sincerity". I expect no less from a frog.
Puzzled by the snail fish bit.
;