bjucks
bjucks
Apr 29, 2018
This poem is part of the workshop:

Basic and Essential Meter

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Sunshine

The passion inside struck her down
Taking back what's hers from start
Infectious smile with glow for skin
Spoke the residents of London town

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: British Columbia, Canada

Favorite Poets: William Butler Yeats

More from this author

Comments

weirdelf

I=Iamb, A=Anapaest, T=Trochee, D=Dactyl, Am=Amphibrach, S=Spondee, P=Pyrrhic, C=Catalexis, ~ = Caesura, [x= feet per line] (exclamation marks indicate perfect meter)

The pass/ion inside/ struck her/ down [I, A, T, C, x4]
Taking/ back what's/ hers from/ start [T, T, T, C, x4]
Infec/tious smile/ with glow/ for skin [I, I, I, I , x4 perfect Iambic Tetrameter!]
Spoke the/ resid/ents of/ London/ town [T, T, T, C, x4]

A catalexis is fine so lines 2 and 4 are good Trochaic Tetrameter but the point is to try to stick to one metric form throughout. Again I'll read it twice, perhaps our accents are very different.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0OwH9zC52CW