The passion inside struck her down
Taking back what's hers from start
Infectious smile with glow for skin
Spoke the residents of London town
Apr 29, 2018
Sunshine
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I=Iamb, A=Anapaest, T=Trochee
I=Iamb, A=Anapaest, T=Trochee, D=Dactyl, Am=Amphibrach, S=Spondee, P=Pyrrhic, C=Catalexis, ~ = Caesura, [x= feet per line] (exclamation marks indicate perfect meter)
The pass/ion inside/ struck her/ down [I, A, T, C, x4]
Taking/ back what's/ hers from/ start [T, T, T, C, x4]
Infec/tious smile/ with glow/ for skin [I, I, I, I , x4 perfect Iambic Tetrameter!]
Spoke the/ resid/ents of/ London/ town [T, T, T, C, x4]
A catalexis is fine so lines 2 and 4 are good Trochaic Tetrameter but the point is to try to stick to one metric form throughout. Again I'll read it twice, perhaps our accents are very different.
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0OwH9zC52CW