When the calabash is broken,
who will mend it?
When the light is covered with a bucket,
How will it eliminate the darkness?
The nail had fallen in the sea,
who will find it?
For this life we all live,
We must surely fall asleep.
Eternal, eternal asleep,
For we all wish to dream blossomy.
For this is the beginning of our journey,
Fare well you have a nice sleep
Last Few Words: This is my condolence to late MR Esker's family,and all Neopoet members.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hi Simon
His type poetry is rare and we shall miss him more as time passes........stan
Simon
A good write for our friend that journeyed on.
Take care and know that he has probably read your piece.
Yours as always Ian..