Like a little baby
That missed his mother,
For her return consoles him.
Like a little bird
That got lost in the morning,
Hoped at last found it’s nest.
How blissful he is,
How delighted,
For the naked trees unveiled his path.
In the mixed was I too,
In his train I am again,
For he toke the flag.
Last Few Words: This poem is a compliment to Mr chiori, the winner of the 2017(.NOVEMBER CONTEST) i am congratulating him.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Overall outstanding piece
Positive reinforcement is very important for young/beginner poets especially, and constructive feedback is always an important goal, yet poets do need to develop thick skins without losing intra- and extra- personal sensitivity. All the great schools of poetry, The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats, The French Romanticists met in person in bars and cafes and gave each other hell. It is an important part of growth. We can’t meet in person but we must be honest, ruthlessly if need be. What sticked out in this unique piece was like a little baby the first line what an attractive premise. The further down the poem that got lost in the morning. lastly, for he toke the flag. Quite impressive overall piece you got here.
THANKS SIR
Thank you sir, for your encouraging comment i really appreciate.
A nice poem Simon, thanks for
A nice poem Simon, thanks for sharing.
THANKS SIR
i'm greatful