In the desert
we wear tinfoil caps
As it grows warmer
The beads spill down our faces
bits of a rock salt rosary
Breaks are taken
when it rains
for sand dune novenas
We drink and pray to mosaics
made eyeless by white sand
sandblasted by lattice waves
Light congregates
on each man’s head
from one altitude to the next
above and below
endlessly
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
above and below .. endlessly
I want to to believe!
Man, I dig your poetry which could have lead me into pages of discourse on this one,
which is about a good enough compliment,
ok?
lol
It is a good enough compliment. Thank you Jess.