Connoisseur
I have always found a fragile beauty
in the subtle deformity when it is present
in the fairer sex...
a slight clubfoot, one breast discernibly
smaller than the other, or one blue eye
and the other eye green or brown.
Often on a misty Spring night, having
happened upon such a dainty maiden, I
will let her go, tipping my hat to her shadow
abstaining to sip from that glass whilst instead
savoring another special bouquet
of seasoned claret.
Last Few Words: This piece is going into: The Book of Styx II. I need feedback to know if it is ready or not for publication. Thanx, eddy
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Cat
Cat,
Eddy is one 'fucked up' character...only he would find beauty in deformity!
This one works very well, because we already know the character and what he is like. It should be a weird poem because of the theme, but being Mr Styx, it feels as normal as bread and butter.
I wouldn't change it as it fits the character exactly as I want to visualise him.
It's ready for book II.
regards,
HS
Thanx Dan,
It is good to know that this piece is ready for the book! Steve will go through all of my "collection" for grammatical errors and spelling, before I send them to the publisher. He has limited time so it will take awhile. I am not the most patient of creatures, as you know, "I want it NOW!" lol! I will send you the whole manuscript, if you are willing, for your reading and perusal. I would welcome your ideas and suggestions.
always, eddy (and Cat)
Cat
Cat,
"I will send you the whole manuscript, if you are willing, for your reading and perusal. I would welcome your ideas and suggestions"
well let me think about that offer for a nanosecond! LOL!
I am as impatient as you...so hurry up will ya!
HS
LOL!
Your wish is my command!
always, eddy!
Dear Shirl,
Thank you, lovely Lady! This piece is going to be included into "the Book of Styx II" so it is wonderful to read your reaction to it! Thanks for all your help,
always, eddy (and Cat)
Dear Cat
my favourite lines which epitomise the character of a connoisseur of sorts.
having
happened upon such a dainty maiden, I
will let her go, tipping my hat to her shadow
abstaining to sip from that glass whilst instead
savoring another special bouquet
of seasoned claret.
much love..
Dear raj,
I always enjoy when a reader includes the part of the poem which touched them, into their comment! Thank you for your positive response. I always look forward to your responses!
always, eddy (and Cat)
Twisted Mr
That Eddy is one warped son of a gun.
Pefectly dark stuff', another master piece.
ps, I wonder how Eddy would get on with Highway Jack ?
Love Lou
: )
Hi Lou! Thanks for the thumbs up! Twisted Mister, indeed, lol. Pardon my ignorance, but who is Highway Jack? You've got me curious!
love, eddy (and Cat)
Highway Jack
Cat,
Highway Jack is my Vampire Highwayman, from Old Neo.
lou
Dear Lou,
I guess I'm still having trouble with my short term memories. It is so annoying! I hope that someday I will recover all those memories. I can think of many long term memories that I could do without! But now that you mention it, it does ring a bell! I would love to read more from Highway Jack! He sounds like eddy's and my cup of tea! Thanks in the help to remembering!
love, Cat
Dear Rosi,
Thank you for your comment and for the help with the problem word. I looked it up in the dictionary, just now and found that it should be "clubfoot." I always appreciate help with my poems and prose etc.
always, eddy (love Cat)
hi cat
yes I can see eddy tipping his hat , the image from the cover off his book" I
will let her go, tipping my hat to her shadow
abstaining to sip from that glass whilst instead
savoring another special bouquet"
dark and twisted ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy x
Thanks Ziggy, I'm so glad
Thanks Ziggy, I'm so glad that the imagery worked for you! This poem will go into "the Book of Styx II" and I need to know what works, thanks again dear friend and reader.
love, Cat
I have keenly observed you always add portions of a poets
I have keenly observed,
you always add
portions of a poet’s
rendition, it adds color to beauty
and perfume
sublime ,
as I now learn lovelier critic of thine
as upon the delicacies of poetry
and
connoisseur of beauty,
I myself define .
you are the one and only sublime ,
to let me know
when, if ever I shall be able to pen
in print, a poetry book of mine
truthfully,
no jam ,no butter
Cat you could be
curt and bitter.
one breast discernibly
smaller than the other, or one blue eye
and the other eye green or brown.
Dear Loved,
I always appreciate you visiting my poems and leaving a comment or critique. Thank you for reading.
always, eddy (& cat)
Thanks Cat ur wonderful
I have just composed
a modified version
and
you haven't answered
I know you would be frank
in your comment there...