_*@YungPrinzeT*_
07/07/2017
9.47AM
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*THE TRUE RELIGION, TRIBE , CULTURE & RACE*
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The sun seem very angry.
The sky shed tears so bloody.
The storm blows its tides so scary.
The soil is grief-sticky.
Cries & wails from far & near.
People living in pangs of fear
As the vision of the future become blur & unclear.
Making snares of death uneath to steer clear.
Gongs singing songs of melancholy,
Swords dancing to beats of altered harmony,
Played by drums of raging antagony,
Mixed with explosives & gunshots of superiority.
Wil man ever receive sense?
Will he ever believe in God's theory of Oneness?
Will he ever rest from this conflicting stress of immoral violence?
Will he ever think of peace as a key to the palace of greatness?
Tell it to the biased, he is a walking dead.
For his sentiment exist not in love but hatred
& enmity which flourish into a terrific war of no pleasant end.
Before his very own presence, shall his name & fame, honour & valour be slain & cremated.
Send message to the ignorant,
Morality is the ONLY true religion in the tribe of reality, that adorns the pendant
On the chain of culture, hung over the elegant
Race of humanity, to make his existence worthwhile & significant.
Written by:
Poroye Ezekiel Tobiloba (POET)
CEO, Palace of Exclusive Thought
yungprinzee@gmail.com
Comments
Wow
It's hard to crit a piece which says so much.
It is amazing to read about a culture so very different to my own, but our job here is to help you say it as effectively as possible.
To this end, I would look at the word 'stinky'. It's really a child's word, bit simplistic for what you need here, I think. Also, the storm blows its tides, not blow.
Perhaps this
'The storm blows its tides, so scary
The soil is sticky with grief'
Just suggestions, please do with as you will.
A very powerful write.
Smiles
thanks so much Jane for the corrections. I'll adjust to that.
Wonderful powerful
I enjoy reading this strong piece
There is a Religious way that many follow
Morality only a few apply.
Barbara
Thanks for taking time to read and comment. moreover, I'm glad you enjoy it.
Yung
Great write on a non religious religion, cultures in many lands vary and sometimes have bloody clashes.
If only we bought food and cloths instead of weapons..
I hear the Momma and Papa earth cry out as any of its children is killed by stupidity or greed.
This is probably a part of being as we are, what a shame..
Take care out there, and know you are part of the whole.
Yours, Ian.
Wil man ever receive sense?
Smiles
Thanks Sparrow for your addition. it's nice for you to stop by and comment.
Yung
I would love it, if someone came to visit my words..
Take care out there,
Yours, Sparrow.