IMAGERY IN POETRY( ready to start?)

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A shard granite lump,that lays in ancient loam

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Adjusted - battery about to die! that's it.. My line involving a 'rock' evoking by use of situation, and maybe historical context some image in the readers head. For the imagery in poetry workshop. Cheers. Chris.

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Tasmania,Australia,Earth,Solar Systems,Milky way,Pint of Guniess, AUS

Favorite Poets: Glen Richards

Comments

shard is evocative, lump

shard is evocative, lump contraposes it
granite is igneous rock, hence un-metamorphosed by heat, pressure and time.
lying in ancient loam provides a sense of meaning in human context.
Crikey! You couldn't pack in much more imagery!

Hi

I think I see what you are trying to accomplish by using "shard". But at least to me a shard id a sharpened piece of stone and I'm pretty sure granite's composition precludes giving to a cutting edge. But regardless this line has a Lot going for it........stan

Perhaps flint?

I could see flint instead of granite.
I still visualise something ancient and undisturbed, made of rock.
Hint of Lord of the Rings.
Jx

see my reply

It's not impossible to get a shard from granite.
To me this is incredibly dense imagery.

But then someone like Stan

But then someone like Stan might expect readers to have no prior knowledge of anything.

In which case this is a bit of granite on dirt.

I see a bit of granite on dirt.

like Jess, I think the imagery is dense.

The thought that led was..

Nelsons column in ten thousand years, or granite in the funerary sense. I could have gone with flint - but flint entails fire, perhaps extinguished, buried in deep loam? This is very useful folks.

Thanks.

Chris.