My memories (Polished )

It is a very effective presentation. The poem illustrates a simple reality that we do not understand how "love" may behave in a given circumstances. A good job!

I think you have a pearl here and just a tiny read to yourself will make this an excellent poem, well done and keep these coming.
Sort out the first few words as they seem ragged, Take care my friend and know we watch over you as always,
Yours Ian and the Children..

A few small crits.
in coma did I stay (grammatic inversion for rhyme, a pet peeve of mine)
they say (wasted two words! An unnecessary line, if I was a medieval poetic critic I might chop off one of your hands for that)
but my heart a beat,skipped (another inversion)
Hark who comes (hark? hark? Who the fuck says hark?)

Overall this feels like you have put some real thought and genuine feeling into its creation, one of your best for a long time.
Onya! My friend.

Love the line 'tears of sorrow dripped' but don't twist the words in the next line just to make it rhyme. 'My heart skipped a beat' sounds better - to my ears.
A lovely reflective piece. Jx

even
in coma was I
reads ok shortened and in new context.

Raises a glass to your wordcrafting.