I walked to the end of the world last night
And peered over the edge
I saw good people going hungry
I saw evil people decadent in their excesses
Crying they need more of the pie
I saw the masses of the self-righteous
Walking like zombies to pay homage to the rich
An offering on hopes that someday
They will be the decadent too
I saw solders killing without cause
While politicians cried more, more, more
Then I saw the great and merciful moon
Doing her part to save humanity from itself
By shorting the days or we would all surely die
May 04, 2016
The End of The World
About This Poem
Last Few Words: it's been five years since I have been here. hello everyone I hope there are still some old friends here and maybe someone new ones
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I love the imagery in this
I love the imagery in this poem:
'I walked to the end of the world last night
And peered over the edge'
I also really like the sentiment.
I can't help it, I'm English and a teacher.......... but I think a little punctuation would help my anal-ness.
You however, may justifiably prefer it this way. Jx
Hi hobo
I was beginning to think you Had fallen off the edge lol. Welcome back. Your poem does a good job summing up the way things seem to be now days........stan