Rula
Rula
Oct 13, 2015
This poem is part of the contest:

DAY or NIGHT 🏆 Winner

(Read More...)

XL Day (Oct. Contest)

When talking about the day's measure
I think of it as an X-Large deal,
for it holds in all the treasure;
the intuitive passion that I feel.

I think of it as an expanded well
with a rich spring that never dries,
for it is getting its utmost fill
from precious and so dear eyes.

The day's the bloom and the devoted bee,
that stick together then never part.
Whenever you're around I see
the world of elation that fills my heart.

This is how much I love the day,
and this is how big is its size.
Should I, I have much more to say;
The day is God's gift and special prize.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

R

raj

9 years 6 months ago

Rula, this is a beautiful expression about your day and gratitude for being able to partake in the lovely natural gifts, with a lovely tint of romance ...a good entry for the October contest ...may be you would like to take a re-look at the title, to make it more crisp and succinct..

I don't see in the parenthesis [October Contest] in the Title field..

Best wishes and regards,

Rula

Rula

9 years 6 months ago

For your generous comment and the thoughtful input.

As for the contest, I wasn't quite sure if it would qualify as I thought it might be a bit off the theme.
What do you think?

Geezer

maybe to make it a little more acceptable for the contest you might say something about what time of the day is the best for you? ~ Gee

Rula

Rula

9 years 6 months ago

I too thought it's a bit irrelevant to the contest but thought I'd share it anyway.
Thank you for the visit.

R

Rula, I believe you haven't read Gee's comment correctly. As mentioned by him you can definitely make slight alterations by orienting towards a particular time of day...

Regards,

Rula

Rula

9 years 6 months ago

I think we supposed to say if it's the day time or the night that we prefer without specifying what time in the day or what time at night ( at least my understanding ).
I did a slight change, changing "my" to
" the"
What do you think?

R

I agree with you that Day Time is also a part of a day. So in my opinion it conforms to the contest norm. Stan can clarify on that. To make sure that your intent is clearly understood, you could slightly modify the Title to "XL Day Time"...

Regards,