lightning

i was sitting and watching the rain
thinking about every drop
that
tumbled
twisted
and turned
in the wind
and i thought about lightning
these magnificent sparks of energy
shooting towards the ground
in a brilliant display of affluence

but i felt numb

for these pixels on
my retina, hd, 15-inch screen
had rendered me senseless
through constant bombardment
of captivation, information, communication
now
now
now

movies and fast food
and race cars and mansions
more i screamed give me more
i crave more, i need more

crashing to the ground
please help me, i am but an addict
take this clear coloured
liquid of painful pleasure
and tear it from my trembling hands

i sit and i weep

oh how i wish
i could see
the lighting once again

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I was sitting on my computer listening to the rain when I realised how desensitised I had become to awe and beauty and how I was bombarding my brain with artificial stimuli till it rendered even the most captivating experiences as ordinary. Of course I wrote a poem about it, tell me what you think, it could be cliché but I felt passionate writing this poem so I'll let myself off just this once.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Plath (I know

Comments

This is well crafted.

You did well with describing habit and impulse and getting caught up with technology vs the natural world and it's wonders.