you are sunlight on ice.
the cold slowly melts away from me
and warmth is all that's left
you are blue sky
through charred and blackened clouds
despite thick layers of pollution you are brilliant.
you are sunlight on ice.
the cold slowly melts away from me
and warmth is all that's left
you are blue sky
through charred and blackened clouds
despite thick layers of pollution you are brilliant.
Last Few Words: for pumpkin there are (almost) no words.
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Lucky pumpkin
Lucky pumpkin that someone writes these lovely lines. I personally would remove the ands from both verses. Love Roscoe...
Good expressive write. Would
Good expressive write. Would lift it further if the last two lines are tweaked up.
Regards,
I rather like the last line.
Strangely, some of the most beautiful sunsets are due to them being refracted through toxic chemicals.
Beautiful poem.
nothing like the weather!
Poem makes me happy
a realistic scene!
got out a lot years ago
and realize that there
is much out there!
including the inner
and the old clouds!
Thank You!
Thanks guys!
you have inspired some itty bitty edits. alas, what else can you do with an itty bity poem :)
thanks for the read,
Mag