The trees are blossomed into leaf
Like poesy almost being said
The recent buds grow dark and spread
Their greenness is a kind of grief
Is it that they are young again
And we so old? No, they age too
Their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain
Yet still the unresting will thresh
In fullgrown bloom every May
Last year is dead they seem to say,
Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.
Dec 11, 2014
Right word workshop
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Here is my first exercise. I didn't know where to post it so I opted for the big way.
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
"right word workshop"
Is a strange title don't you think? lol. You hit a few of the missing words right on the head. And the ones you missed are still pretty good substitutes. This shows you gave a deal of thought to this which is what this shop is about... thinking before writing.............stan
The title caught me off guard when I saw it as an update.
Some sort of mental slip. I hope its not contagious.