The River

Glistening
Like stars in a moonlit sky.
Flowing over rocks
blanketed with moss.

Clear as crystals
jutting from a darkened cave.
Spotlighting any hint of sunlight
and sending it back again.

Swift and sure
it flows in its own way.
Traveling down the mountain face
spilling its treasure into the valley below.

Feeding along the way
lush green foliage and animals.
The elk, moose and deer
with the wolves ever near.

Through mountain forests,
farmlands and canyons
until at last
it meets with another.

The union a success.
Onward to the ocean,
together they will flow.

Like siblings meeting
on the playground,
the joy cannot be told.

At last their journey ends.
Their mother calls them home.

By: Sharon Jones

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: Idaho, USA

Comments

Your poetry merely describes nature,

except for their "mother calls them home", which is bullshit.
You write beautifully but without depth and thought.

hi sharon

its beautiful but the last two stanzas doesn't really connect with the title...if it is up to me, I will end this poem with "together they will flow." That's what I will do but this is your piece, so I leave it for you to decide..just a thought, that's all...

Alid

Thanks

Thanks for your review. I will consider it.

I apologise for using the word bullshit,

alidzain said it more kindly when he said
"its beautiful but the last two stanzas doesn't really connect with the title...if it is up to me, I will end this poem with "together they will flow."