captjack
Feb 15, 2014

Take The Trip?

My train has already left the station, but
for some strange reason I’m still standing on the platform waiting.
I don’t know if I can handle another journey or
at least the station stops in between.

You say the scenery along the way will be worth the trip.
But can I cope with those long dark tunnels?
Or do I even want to.
And I’d hate to start the journey just to get my
ticket punched half way through.

Maybe I should just let my hobo heart hop
the first fast freight out of here.
Where’s that damn gnome when you need him?

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: NW Georgia (Fairmount) by way of South and North FLA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Frost

More from this author

Comments

wesley snow

Very good.
I apologize for not having read your poetry until now.
I'll be honest and say I don't much care for verso libre, but the rhythm (meter) is so clean I enjoyed reading it.