Having walked away from yesterdays
quick stepping no longer detecting it's
calm, a sorry disposition this rendered
recluse.
Hearing deafening echoes of events
which have never happened, invigorating
his own solitary existence a loneliness
which was never before possible in the
passing presence of so many.
Now ignoring the hubbub and the clanging
toil, ploughman's furrows once laughter lines
adorn an insignificant face telling jagged tales.
Following footsteps which lead to closed doors
deadlock bolted with no peep hole no home
for a hollow soul a wretched fiend.
" Don't loiter on the steps of gods earthly domain "
said the preacher to the embattled insane, without
reverence for his immense pain.
Which indemnified bell beckons thee
This man's brush with faith,
was ignorance and hate.
Comments
Strong write
Happy new Year Ziggy been along time and how are you doing. I miss the photos in here of the poets and I still need to update mine once I can get my hair brushed and look pretty LMAO How are you and the family doing. I hope all is well and this poem seems like it is written about a homeless one, maybe not maybe a wretched one? Unsure after I read it. Quite interesting to say the least
Love to you my friend
Mona Magics
hi again
well hello there lol i can remember what you look like with
you smiling face and dark hair lol, yes this is written about
a homeless one , its great to hear from you again hope all is well
Ty for the comment ,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs xx
Zigs
Feels like it is written from the heart, the only thing I would say is, having rendered and rendition in the same stanza doesn't make sense to me, although it does sound good.
Lou
hi louise
hi there my friend hows tricks
the change you pointed out
has being made, cheers for that
that's why I post them lol, this is just
about a homeless man taking a journey
ending up at a church and being driven away
by the priest that resides there, hunting away the
insane beggar , its just my imagination
running wild as it does lol cheers chat soon ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x
Ziggy
Zigs,
this is a gripping piece...it has a fast feel to it. Fast paced and hard hitting...loving it!
Loved this stanza:
Following footsteps which lead to closed doors
deadlock bolted with no peep hole no home
for a hollow soul a wretched fiend.
It is not easy to make a 'wordy' write like this one work with both a fast tempo and flow, but you did it my friend.
Brilliant!
HS
hi hood
hi hood you may remember I sent this to you before
and I have since made the changes you pointed out
plus one Louise pointed out above, and you may also
remember the title was a couple of words from the
write that you also suggested, I also read this quick
i'm glad you noticed, your sharp lol,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ty m8 ,,,,,,,,,zigs
Zigs
Zigs,
yup, so bloody sharp I keep cutting myself!
Lol!
HS
Dear Ziggy,
My favorite verse:
Which indemnified bell beckons thee
This man's brush with faith,
was ignorance and hate.
There were many great lines in this write but these hit me the hardest. I wouldn't change a word of this piece. As always, your work fascinates me. It runs as deep as the poet himself!
love, Cat
hi cat
hi there it's great to hear from you my dear, hope your having a good start to the year
I do enjoy your comments cat , tell Steve I said hi, and sometime your up to it I'D
love you to take a peek at another I wrote " nightmares " and I'll check you out later
have to pop down home again this eve am needed , take care ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ends xx
hi again
how are you doing yes you got this one , CHEERS
I don't see any homeless where I live in the countryside
I'd find it very hard to walk by we all need somebody hey
ill check your page out in a while busy this eve ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x