captjack
Sep 26, 2013

Back

I saw the first of them today.
Little flashes of yellow riding
the breeze across in front of me.
Migration from tree to ground has begun.
Soon now this back road will be covered.
Leaping into the swirling air as I pass by.
An orange and red and yellow announcement.
Fall has returned.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: NW Georgia (Fairmount) by way of South and North FLA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Frost

More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

11 years 7 months ago

Seems that you are fascinated by the flashing colored lights.

If this was mine, I would make a littlt tweek in the last line,

"An orange and red and yellow announcement

Fall has returned."

So, I'd say
An orange and red and yellow announcing
the return of fall
or look even for a fresher word than "return"

Only thoughts.