whitescatter
Nov 02, 2010

"Sorry For the Days that I made You Cry"

sorry for the days that i made you cry,
and for all the times you're caught in my lie..
i'll never do it again....i'll never try,
i'll never let this story end with goodbye..

sometimes i'd been used to be blind,
sorry for the times i'd never sleep by your side..
while the way of life is what i tried hard to find,
when i lose you, it's hard to say "never mind.."

sorry for the days i let you hang with nothing,
when you cried a lot and i never said a thing...
please don't go away, i will do anything,
you're my only princess and my everything...

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

About the Author

Region, Country: Laguna, PHL

Favorite Poets: William Shakespeare And the NeoPoet Family

More from this author

Comments

the_fool

i was a little turned off by the repetitive 'I', but i have no suggestions for that. the rhyming in the last S didn't work for me. too 'thingy'. i think this one needs a lot of work, but that's just me.