Today I enjoyed my mind,
it might not seem a big ask,
I’ve been doing it most of my life,
Often wondering
if it was as much fun in other people’s heads
as it was in mine.
A dangerous neighbourhood at night,
but which of the best places aren’t?
Today I enjoyed my mind,
it hasn’t happened much lately
but today is today
Comments
Hi Jess
I'll keep coming back to this until I can give a reasonable ending.................stan
Hint: there ian't one
One good day is enough to live for.
Anything anyone could say would be Hallmark bullshit about the future.
Is too
never underestimate the power of the scribbler lol............I'll come up with one if it fries my brain
but today was today
is a great ending
- imo of course
i would suggest you break that one long line up a little - maybe
'Often wondering
if it was as much fun in other people’s heads
as it was in mine'
lol
i really like
'A dangerous neighbourhood at night'
one's own mind
it's a good place to be at peace in isn't it
love judy
xxx
thanks Judyanne
that was the right ending.
You are great.
Jess
"As the mind once again took control" would be an apt ending for this piece but it needs a lot of work.
The theme running through is held there, but seemingly behind bars of self mistrust, dare I say any more, Yours as always Ian.T
No, friend
let's just say I had a good day and they are so rare I wanted to celebrate a bit.
Jess
There are more good days to come just wait and be patient, why do you young ones want everything in one go, lol
I think I forgot to say I liked the frankness of your write it seemed quite natural, Take care young man and know we think of you, Yours Ian.T
To me the best poetry is simple truth
oh, that does not mean that poetic technique can't enhance simple truth. Sometimes plain words are best.
Well done ! I enjoyed the
Well done ! I enjoyed the natural, easy cadence,
joe
thanks Joe,
that is an nice compliment. Although you know I have studied many forms of poetry, I believe a natural (sounding) cadence works best. After all, what are we trying to do? Talk to people.
Please to leave the ending alone.
As a whole, it put to words that which is hard to understand. But I do.
Wow! I am flattered.
I wrote something in almost non-verse that you seem to appreciate.
Where we are so different, and so important to each other , is that if I could say a poem in one word I would. Yet I understand that you could say a lot more in epoesy (is that the word?). And I would like to learn that too.
It's "epopee" and
I count you among my mentors.
Hi
Told you I'd return lol. I see you deleted last line so my suggested change os moot. But since I went to the trouble of thinking up a non-cliche I figured I'd pass it along :
"however rare". So trash or use as you see fit..................stan
too
true
Fantastic
But only the first 8 lines. The last 2 lines did not add anything for me
alteration
Today IS today
for me
the but for me causes a doubt
in which the above of body is much strength
today is today for me is like Tiderah! giving of the finger
in leaving...for Male or Female heroinne hero bad ass or villian
other then that I like the poetry of late from you!!!
Thank You//
Agree
End line as line nine -"today is today"
So beautiful the whole xxx
Jess
I am late coming to this
I can't find anything I would change
Love the ending
Adore the poem as a whole
Cheers Jc xxx hugs