.
lilac petals drop daintily
a swoosh of night air and fragrance
pushes the poplars to samba
swishing and swaying seductively
bouncing droplets of rain on
xylophonic roof tiles
beckoning me to join
this unnamed celebration
I escape my lazy chair ways on
loosey-goose legs
(usually stiff as boardroom banter)
and I feel
....TALL!
Comments
standing tall with you brittle
i just love the 'xylophonic roof tiles' and the 'loosey-goose legs'
just love this whole write
i would like a different title - it seems a bit tame for what i feel when i read the poem...
i kind of like - 'quickening' or 'vitality' - but of course that's just me.
(one typo - fragrence - fragrance)
and 'usually, stiff as boardroom banter' - i don't think you need the comma??
i really like this brittle - nothing to crit
judy
xxxx
i like the edit al
and the title change
love judy
xxxx
rejuv
poplars doing the samba.........so much better than merely swaying ! I enjoyed and identify with the whole write......scribbler